Although I have said I do not have one Ray story that would adequately describe him, I do however have A LOT of Ray stories that fall a little short of appropriate and that he’d probably prefer me not to tell (actually he would probably say “keer”), but anyway, as the days, weeks, and months pass I am going to tell them as they come to me and hopefully put a smile on some of your faces.
When I got up this morning, as I do every morning, I checked his facebook and then the blog hoping for a new story, but mainly just to see his face in some old pictures. However my yearning to see his face this morning was not as profound as usual - I had seen it all night in my dreams. As we sat together on a deck at the beach, we talked as I cried and held him in my arms wanting to never let go. Although he held me and told me everything was going to be okay, he never stopped with the jokes. I remember laughing through my tears as if he were actually there. He was taking the situation lightly, as we know he would.
When I woke up I was happier than I have been since the accident. And although I know this was just a dream, I actually believe that he was with me last night and wants me to tell some of the funny stories and make everyone laugh the way he would be doing if he were here.
So here goes: Last year at school we had been out drinking for like four nights straight. I think it was Halloween weekend and it started on Wed or Thurs and went through Sat.
Needless to say by Sunday a.m. we were struggling. Ray promised me like sat night if I did something stupid he would take me to IHOP on Sunday morning to refuel the bushel….what a treat. Well Sunday morning turned into Sunday at about 1:00pm when we finally got up. However Sunday at 1:00pm is not only breakfast time for alcoholics, but also lunch time for church goers. So here I am hung-over with a Ray who at this point is still drunk surrounded by SW Virginia church goers in an IHOP that serves only food I don’t eat, wow.
We get a seat beside two lovely black ladies who have just left church, and by beside, I mean like 3 feet apart. One is in her 50’s and the other is the mother so she is probably in her 70’s or 80’s. Immediately Ray says something completely inappropriate and I’m looking at him like dude shut up. Well of course once he saw that I was getting embarrassed, it was on. He never let up the whole breakfast, saying every single vulgar and profane word in the most common way possible. You should have seen the ladies. Oh my God it was so funny. They couldn’t even eat their lunch they were so disturbed. Eventually I was in stitches, laughing so hard I had to get up and go outside to get myself together. The picture below is EXACTLY the kind of face he was making as he relished in his inappropriateness.
I know this is one of those ‘had to be there’ stories, but for Ken, Anne, Cameron and Kevin, or anyone else who has sat down at the Ray’s dinner table for a family dinner, you can imagine.
Only Ray could make someone love eating gross food hung-over in a gross restaurant filled with gross people.
If you would like to add more pictures to this slideshow, please e-mail them to holtjb@vt.edu.
i love Ray family dinners. the first one i ever experienced was at Pinos, so it was a bit mild... i guess since we didnt really know each other that well and were in public Chris decided not to pull his normal antics. he only got fussed at a few times for leaning his chair back, texting and making fun of cameron for having a fly on his lip at a previous dinner. (lolz)
ReplyDeletehowever after that, it was on. one time chris and cameron even made mrs. ray cry... for what i cant really say here. (also awkard lolz)
i was fortunate enough to have a Ray family lunch with anne, ken, kevin and chris in august. ken made DELIOUS steak, of which chris said was "middies, but he could do better" and anne prepared sides fit for a king. the table was gorgeous, so you would assume it was a very elegant lunch, but nope. the entire time chris pushed kevins buttons about not knowing anything about a remote control (of course kevin knew more than him), while following each rebuttle with a "fot". he was told numerous times he would have to go out on the deck if he didnt quit, but chris ray never quits. after claiming i was a pothead and avid brewer of meth multiple times like always did (since he LOVED to see me blush and get flustered), he then went on the longest rant about his most recent police call to the nudist colony. you can only imagine what was said... after everyone tried to keep a straight face for a few minutes, the entire table was laughing till he finally shut up. ken even had to leave the table it was so funny but SO wrong. a ray family meal was truely an experience of its own...