My favorite Ray story

Over the past month I have endured the most tragic loss of my life - the one of not just a best friend, companion, or brother, but instead a loss within myself. With all tragic losses comes pain and grief, but somehow I find this different; you meant so much to me and my life that I feel as if my heart has been torn out and filled with emptiness. Every day I find myself in a situation where I have to say, "Yeah, me and Ray did that ... ", regardless of the conversation or what it’s about. I don't know anything in my life that I have enjoyed or accomplished that does not directly involve you or your support. Since the accident everyone keeps telling me how we were like 'an old married couple', but what they don't understand is that unlike old married couples, we absolutely LOVED being with each other. All you have to do is look at my foot print on your dashboard to tell that. As gay as it sounds, how many times have people heard us say, "If Ray was girl, I'd marry him" or “I love 87”. And although I knew we weren’t going to get married, I still cannot imagine getting married without you standing beside me as my best man, or being in the waiting room when I have your first godchild. And speaking of which, I haven’t decided on a name yet, but Christopher Darby is a front runner.

Since the accident I have been asked to tell funny stories about your life and things we did together, the purpose of this blog. Surprisingly however, I find it very difficult to think of any one story that would adequately portray who you were. You would think I would have millions of stories but the problem is my whole life is a story about you. From the first night we spent together at Windy Hill you have been my rock.

In lower school you made me stop clinging to Mom's hood and actually made me look forward to going to school. In the fourth grade when my dad passed, to everyone’s surprise I bounced right back. Why? Because from 8am till dark you made me the happiest a kid could be, laughing till my sides hurt. In middle school, I became the "bully", a title you heavily contributed to me earning. At your funeral Alex Vick said to me, "You know, yall used to pick on me in middle school, right?” I just kind of smiled and nodded but knew she didn’t have to worry anymore because you were gone, and without you, the jokes are gone too.

It was also those middle school years when you taught me how to fish - the beginning of a recently ended era. As much as everyone thought of “John and Ray, the river fishing masters”, I must admit from the time we had that six foot leaking jon boat that had to be paddled up and down the river, you were the Captain. As we entered high school you fell in love with girls, and I was determined to get my boyfriend back. I spent the next couple years trying to make you not such a lover, while you spent them hiding from me in garage, doing what Cameron does now. .. haha :) But unlike most friendships that live and die, we never went ONE day without talking and laughing.


Senior year I was once again faced with death when Charles died. Like always, you never left my side and helped me bounce right back. He passed during football season and the pain of having to play each game without him there was almost overwhelming, but you in the end zone drinking liquor, hooping, hollering, and blinding the refs with your Bronco headlights was just enough to keep me going. Nothing made me as happy as when we would get down near the end zone and I would hit somebody, not so we could win or force a turnover, but just so I could get up and watch you obnoxiously celebrate as if you had done it yourself. After graduation, where we wore flip flops and you talked ‘Double D J.’ into letting it happen, you went to Radford, and me, HSC.

After freshman year I can remember everyone telling me how terrible my decision to stay home would be and how much I needed to go back to HSC. But like always you didn't say that. I can remember the day I had to make the crucial decision, I called you with my normal, "Dudddeee, what do I do?". You said, "Do what’s best for you. Go to Paul D. and move in with me in Radford next year. Everything will be fine." And so I did, one the best decisions of my life ... because of you. Over the next year we would become roommates and even closer than ever before. After I moved to Blacksburg we didn’t know what to do with ourselves - 45 minute cell phone chats daily, weekend cookouts every Friday night, and Facebook rants about nothing all time. But since we didn’t get to see each other as much as we would have liked, we decided a solo trip down to Fla. for spring break was exactly what we needed. You were short on funds so I made a spreadsheet that made the trip look official. Little did they know, we fished for half the time we portrayed in the spreadsheet, and took the rest of the cash to Daytona. "You’re wild." However, while at Daytona instead of chasing women and going to MTV beach parties, we sat on the beach side by side, drank, and laughed hysterically at people and stupid stories alllll day. ... Remember the "Hot Lesbian Theory"? hahahaa God your stupid.


During this past summer you worked and loved every second of it. While on your days off we would go to the beach. Remember your "Top 10 Things Not To Do While Becoming a Sheriff's Deputy" list? haha I think you did em all buddy. I had so much fun this summer, I even drove six hours and skipped my first day of summer school just because you called me and said "come". After I went back to summer school and you moved into the ‘putment’ that T and I so eloquently painted over the summer, we didn't see each other as much, but the daily calls became more like 4 a day calls. The Tuesday before the accident when Meredith was gone to Mississippi we laid in bed and talked for ..... I’m embarrassed to say ... 2 1/2 hours. I can remember being curled up in my bed holding my sides laughing so hard, about nothing, just listening to you. The day of the accident, you called me so many times lying about that sub-par blackfish I had to tell you to shut up. It wasn’t even that big dude. Not to mention, you told Jammin’ about the secret blackfee hole. And to top things off that would be last picture you would take and become the front page of the Tidewater News - Ray with a big nasty blackfish. Atta boy. Real Classy. And lastly, two hours before the wreck you wrote on my facebook “Tommy Bahama”. I never got a chance to tell you, but I loled.

So here I am, at Tech, because you were at Radford, doing Building Construction, because me and you built forts and jon boats, in a one bedroom apartment, because after living with you I realized it was actually impossible for me to live with anyone and enjoy it, listening to music through your speakers with your old iPod, and ironically wearing a pair of your socks. So from now on when I am asked for a good “Ray Story”, the one I’m going to tell is the one you coauthored, the story of my life.
So until we meet again, thank you so much for everything. I love you. And PS, how about getting a boat ready because when I get there, me and you are going to the river.

Officer Williams

I'm sure everyone knows of how we came to call you Officer Williams (can you see the name tag in the picture?), that was funny, along with several other things I heard about when you were on the job......... like your first trip to the nudist camp. But I look at the picture of you in uniform and I can't decide if it looks more like a man heading to work............. or more like a kid getting ready to go to a costume party for Halloween. Either way, you're one good-looking thing. You and your brothers must take after the Watkins side of the family in that repsect. Ha. Ha. There is no doubt though whose side of the family you take after as far as your mess, mischief, and sense of humor goes. Or I should probably say the one person you take after. Although I'm not sure Earle would have gone so far as to "moon" people who were leaving a party, and I don't think he would have put poison oak in head wreaths for classmates who were in the school play. I'm not sure Earle would have tied a fish to the front of his brother's Jeep either. Who am I kidding? He absolutely would have done all that and did do mess like that all the time. I heard more stories this summer about the both of you and the crazy stuff the two of you did. The only way I can smile right now is to think of some of them, and to think that the two of you are sharing those stories with each other right now.

I have to agree with Jackie and Sara about the dog. There is NO doubt in my mind where and why she appeared the very day she did. There is just something special about her, and I am not even a dog lover. That dog has so many of your characteristics as well. Loves to eat, loves the water (or at least she did the day I was chasing after her around the Pope's house), loves attention, loves playing/messing with Cameron, and most importantly..........loves to aggravate the crap out of your mother. I can still see Darby jumping on Anne while she was trying to sleep. And of course tinkling on the rugs after tricking Anne into thinking that she was house trained was like a stunt you would have pulled. So yes, perfect sign for the family.

And I have to agree with Sara and Jackie that nothing will ever be the same again as far as holidays and vacations go. But we will try our best to find fun/laughter again..........the fact that I know you want this for all of your family/friends will help. And again, knowing you're with Earle helps a little too. My last memory of you will be how you made all of us smile and laugh, even Betty, on what was one of the saddest days of her life. When she was trying to get rid of all the food in the refrigerator that people had brought, you kept speaking up and saying "I'll take it!" Every single thing that no one else even wanted to look at, let alone take ............you kept raising your hand and saying "I'll take it!!" You could not possibly have had an inch of room left in the car, truck or whatever you drove home that night. I'm still smiling when I think of that.

Your favorite aunt, Christy

Missing You

Criffer, I don't know where to start. When Jackie told me about this site it made me sad but happy at the same time knowing it was in your honor. Although I wish there wasn't a reason to be making a site at all. I miss you so much. I still can't believe what happened. It's just not fair. You were so young and your story had just begun. I was so happy that you finally found something that you loved as much as fishing that you could get paid for. I remember when you were driving my car back from South Hill and telling me all these stories about people you had helped and things you had seen since starting your job. I thought you were like a little kid on Christmas you were getting so excited just talking about it. The funny thing is, is that I was always more worried about you off the job than on. I remember a conversation we had not too long ago about our new jobs and loving the night shift. Of course we loved it for different reasons because you said trying to sleep in the car was very uncomfortable. The beach will never be the same without you. I'll hold the special memories with me though: our nights at port o call with mother trucker and auntie scotti, you shooting out the neighbors window with the water balloon launcher, and you and john getting kicked out of every single go kart place in Nags Head. I always teased you about not calling on my birthday but I will never forget the one time you did, you will never know how much it meant. I love you for helping me move out and telling me you were in no rush to get back because that meant we could have that long sit down lunch together; I'm glad we got to do that. I wanted to thank you for sending Darby, she was what I needed. I named her that because she responded to it (not because I said it in a high pitched voice either). My best friend gave me a necklace with our birthstones on it and I wear it every single day. I also had dinner with Ashley tonight, she really misses you. We talked about you alot and no matter what story we were talking about, we were laughing. I bet Earle was surprised to see you and I know ya'll are up there causing insane chaos.

I would give absolutely anything to have you back here with us. I talk to you every night and sometimes throughout the day. I'll keep your memory with me always, I'll carry your love with me forever and I'll be seeing you. xoxo
-YFC

One month ago we said good-bye so tragically...

We miss you, Chris. 

I can't believe it has been a month... It's been so hard. I can't even explain. What has helped me get through the days are the hilarious stories and the memories that people have shared. You were always up to something, and I loved that about you. It is my hope that some of these fantastic memories will get written down, and this is a perfect way to do it so they can be shared with the world. Everyone needs a smile today, and I know if you were here you would be the one to provide it. You touched so many lives in so many ways. 

You opened my eyes to many new ideas... Like the night you took me opossum stomping when I came to visit you, and I believed you when you told me it was totally normal. I know now that no one else in the world has ever heard of opossum stomping. 

Also, it is thanks to you that I will never dye my hair. I remember the very day when Scotti helped you bleach your hair blond at the beach, and you had to let it sit for a while with that plastic wrap over your head. You sat out in a beach chair by the swamp with a fishing pole until it was ready to be rinsed out, waving at every car that passed. That wasn't your best look by the way!

You also told me just a few short weeks ago how you were going to look after Betty from now on... That you were going to go visit her whenever you could, even if it was just for the day. Even though you can't go visit her anymore, I know you are still looking after her. I know you are looking after all of us. Thank you for that. 

And I don't know if you really sent that dog to your house on the day of your funeral or not. If you did, I thank you for that, too. While it might not be exactly what your mom wanted, it helped bring a little light and a little hope to my life. Maybe because I was looking everywhere for some sort of sign that you were okay. That was my sign.

I could go on forever about all the things you have done for me and all the memories that I have, but I want to hear other people's stories, too. Like I said before - they are what help me get through the day. 

May you dance in the clouds until we meet again, my friend. I love you, and I miss you more than you would ever believe. 

Love, 

Jackie