As I sit here thinking of Christopher Darby - by Ashley Marie Martin

As I sit here thinking about Christopher Darby... I am reminded of all he has done for me.  He was my first true love.  Everything makes me think of him… everything.  When I think of Chris, I think of his many stages of shaggy hair or lack thereof, big brown eyes (that helped him get away with anything), and endearing smile.  We absolutely loved being around each other.  Every minute we had together I will treasure for the rest of my life.

Chris and I would often venture out to big ole Norfolk for dates, when we got sick of Applebee’s or Los Amigos, haha. I am reminded of many times we got lost together… one not long ago.  We went ice-skating this past Christmas at Macarthur Mall, and somehow we got lost on the way home.  If you know my sense of direction, this is not an uncommon occurrence.  So, somewhere off our wrong turn, we saw a sign for the Christmas lights on the boardwalk, and he said, “Well what the hell, let’s go see the Christmas lights.”  And so we did.  Chris wasn’t the type to get angry in situations like this; he made the best out of every situation.  We were together a long time, and to this day, I don’t think I have ever seen him angry.   Chris was the most thoughtful, caring, and genuine person I will ever meet.  I know this may surprise some people, but Chris did have an incredibly sweet side.  I remember when we first started dating :  he deejayed at Middle School Madness and I chaperoned for Leader’s Club.  As soon as I saw Chris Ray was deejaying, you couldn’t have dragged me away from Middle School Madness on a Friday night (haha).  Now that I look back, that sounds somewhat pathetic.  But there was something about him, I was drawn to him.  We ended up talking a lot during this time and at sometime Christopher began asking me to dance while he was working.  I thought this was absolutely adorable.   He would even dedicate songs to me (usually George Strait ); I loved how fearless he was and he never found anything embarrassing.  I don’t know another teenage boy who would have done this just to make me happy.  But he did, he always made me so happy.

I learned so much from Chris.  He showed me how to live life to the fullest, and he would do absolutely anything for his friends.   One thing I know is Chris loved his friends.  John and I learned to share ;)  I have never seen two friends with a stronger bond than those two.   Whether they were in the Ray’s garage aka “Chris’s pad”, singing “Curtis Lowe” and “Redneck Yacht Club” or at Windy Hill rocking the sailor hat, let me tell you something, those Academy kids know how to have a good time!  And Chris was usually the ringleader!

Chris was extremely close with his family and my family.  We were always either at his house or mine, and he became part of the family.  The Ray’s welcomed me in and I love them as my family too.  At the many Ray family dinners I attended, I can’t help but bring up Cameron and Kevin’s little cat fights.  Chris would usually just sit adding comments here and there to coax the argument further.  He always made me laugh and eventually would make Kevin and Cameron laugh as they realized he was the main reason they were fighting.  Ken and Anne would usually just shake their heads, trying not to break into a smile.  With Chris around, there was never a dull moment.  Although he may have driven his mama crazy, I often remember him teasing with her and giving her a kiss on the forehead before we would head out for the night.  One thing I remember Chris telling me was how much he loved and wanted to live by Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Simple Kind of Man”.  For some reason I feel compelled to share the lyrics here.

Mama told me, when I was young

Come site beside me, my only son

And listen closely, to what to say.

And if you do this

It will help you some sunny day.

Ohh take your time... Don't live too fast,

Troubles will come, and they will pass.

Go find a woman and you'll find love,

And don't forget son,

There is someone up above.

And be a simple kind of man.

And maybe some day you'll love and understand.

Baby be a simple kind of man.

Won't you do this for me son,

If you can?

Forget your lust for the rich man's gold

All that you need is in your soul,

And you can do this if you try.

All that I want for you my son,

Is to be satisfied.

Boy, don't you worry... you'll find yourself.

Follow you heart and nothing else.

And you can do this if you try.

All I want for you my son,

Is to be satisfied.  

He lived his life to the fullest and made everyone around him light up.  He brought out the best in people and only wanted the best for everyone in his life.  Although we all can’t help but grieve, I know for a fact Chris hates to see people cry.  He would want us all to remember him as the happy go lucky, “life of the party” that he was.  I still can’t believe such a tragedy happened to one of the most important people in my life, but we will all keep his memory in our hearts.  I will never be able to listen to another George Strait song without hysterically crying but I am “carrying your love with me” Darby and we all miss you so much.

- Ashley Marie