Ray at IHOP - story 1 of 1,000,000

Although I have said I do not have one Ray story that would adequately describe him, I do however have A LOT of Ray stories that fall a little short of appropriate and that he’d probably prefer me not to tell (actually he would probably say “keer”), but anyway, as the days, weeks, and months pass I am going to tell them as they come to me and hopefully put a smile on some of your faces.
When I got up this morning, as I do every morning, I checked his facebook and then the blog hoping for a new story, but mainly just to see his face in some old pictures. However my yearning to see his face this morning was not as profound as usual - I had seen it all night in my dreams. As we sat together on a deck at the beach, we talked as I cried and held him in my arms wanting to never let go. Although he held me and told me everything was going to be okay, he never stopped with the jokes. I remember laughing through my tears as if he were actually there. He was taking the situation lightly, as we know he would.
When I woke up I was happier than I have been since the accident. And although I know this was just a dream, I actually believe that he was with me last night and wants me to tell some of the funny stories and make everyone laugh the way he would be doing if he were here.
So here goes: Last year at school we had been out drinking for like four nights straight. I think it was Halloween weekend and it started on Wed or Thurs and went through Sat.
Needless to say by Sunday a.m. we were struggling. Ray promised me like sat night if I did something stupid he would take me to IHOP on Sunday morning to refuel the bushel….what a treat. Well Sunday morning turned into Sunday at about 1:00pm when we finally got up. However Sunday at 1:00pm is not only breakfast time for alcoholics, but also lunch time for church goers. So here I am hung-over with a Ray who at this point is still drunk surrounded by SW Virginia church goers in an IHOP that serves only food I don’t eat, wow.
We get a seat beside two lovely black ladies who have just left church, and by beside, I mean like 3 feet apart. One is in her 50’s and the other is the mother so she is probably in her 70’s or 80’s. Immediately Ray says something completely inappropriate and I’m looking at him like dude shut up. Well of course once he saw that I was getting embarrassed, it was on. He never let up the whole breakfast, saying every single vulgar and profane word in the most common way possible. You should have seen the ladies. Oh my God it was so funny. They couldn’t even eat their lunch they were so disturbed. Eventually I was in stitches, laughing so hard I had to get up and go outside to get myself together. The picture below is EXACTLY the kind of face he was making as he relished in his inappropriateness.



I know this is one of those ‘had to be there’ stories, but for Ken, Anne, Cameron and Kevin, or anyone else who has sat down at the Ray’s dinner table for a family dinner, you can imagine.

Only Ray could make someone love eating gross food hung-over in a gross restaurant filled with gross people.

The Best Guy I Have Ever Known - by Daniel Vinson

Not a day goes by, not an hour passes, without me thinking about Chris Ray. He greatly impacted my life; I have so much that I want to say about him, but it’s as if the appropriate words escape me. I feel a certain inadequacy in writing this because I can’t possibly express my feelings for Ray. He meant so much to me and to so many others. Like so many of us, I have a lifetime of memories with him. Over the past weeks, these memories have run though my mind constantly, many of which I have not thought about in years. The strange thing is that the ordinary, seemingly forgettable times I spent with Chris are what I cherish the most about my friendship with him.

I realize that this has been said before, but it can’t be said enough, there is no one story that anyone could tell about Chris that could explain how special he was to everyone who knew him. When Chris was around, everything became a story. I know that the friends I have made in Georgia over the past few years have gotten tired of being constantly inundated with my stories from Southampton County, every one of which involved Ray. By the time he came to Athens to visit for the first time last fall, my friends, many of whom had never met him, already felt like they knew him. They quickly figured out what we all know so well, that Chris Ray made every situation a better one. He made everything more fun and enjoyable for everyone present.

Sitting down and remembering all of the times I spent with Chris got me thinking. I tried to remember the first time I met him. The truth is that I can’t remember. It could have only happened in one of two places, either the first day of kindergarten at the Academy, or the first day of Courtland Baseball. I honestly don’t know which came first. Every memory I have about Southampton County, about Shands, and about Home, he is in it.

Trying to write something like this about Chris Ray is problematic. The problem is that over the years, Chris Ray somehow became a part of me, and his memory will always be a part of me. I have so much that I can and want to say about him. But if I sat here and wrote all that I wanted this would never end. So, here is my best shot.

Everyone that knew Ray knows how great of a sense of humor he had. He loved a good story, especially if he was telling it. I feel it’s only appropriate that I share one of the stories he would often tell, where I was the butt of the joke. According to Christopher, I have a tendency to “breach.” During the spring of our sophomore year of high school, we went on the Academy’s Europe trip to Italy and Switzerland. I spent the whole trip rooming with Chris. From the time we stepped foot off of the plane until we left, Ray saw too it that he had a bottle of Jack Daniels in his book bag at all times. One night when we were in Switzerland, I came back to our room and found him asleep in his bed. I took it upon myself to have a few drinks of his whiskey. Soon, Mrs. Ray was banging on our door. She found the liquor and took it. From then on, Ray swore up and down that I had ratted him out and I became known as the “breacher.”

Another thing everyone who knew Ray knew about him was that he would go out of his way to do anything for his friends. I don’t hunt or fish very often, but Ray would take me with him anytime I wanted to go. The only times that I have hunted during the past few years have been with him. We went duck hunting several times. He always insisted that I use his good pair of waders and he took the ones that leaked. So while we were out there in the wee hours of winter mornings, I was warm, well at least as warm as I could be, and he was freezing. That’s just the type of person he was.

Ray also had a tendency to make light of any situation. We were fishing in the Nottaway one summer, and we could see a storm approaching. We decided that we could wait it out on the shore, underneath a tree. It turned out to be the craziest storm I had ever seen. Lightning was crashing all around us, and I was freaking out. I looked at Ray, and it was obvious that he was thinking the same thing I was, something bad is about to happen. Then he said, “Don’t worry ‘bout it, it ain’t nothing but a little squall.” Then and there, in the midst of a hurricane like storm, we both started laughing uncontrollably, and we did not stop until the storm had passed.

Out of all the time I spent with him, there is one memory about Chris Ray that will always stick with me. At the end of this past summer, I was riding back from Nags Head with him. Nothing out of the ordinary happened on our way back, but that’s just it. It was an average, run-of-the-mill trip with Ray. We never stopped laughing. That is how I will always remember him. Chris had the uncanny gift of being able to make everyone laugh and to make everyone happier. I, like so many others, miss him unbelievably. I do my best not to cry when I think of him, but I can’t help it. All I can do is feel blessed for the time God gave him to us.

We love you Ray, and we will always miss you. I know that you are our Angel watching over all of us now, and we will be with you again.

- Daniel Vinson

Christopher Ray - by Megan Marks

I don’t even know where to begin when it comes down to talking about Christopher Ray. He was truly one of my best friends and has been for my entire life. I was sitting in my room the other day looking through pictures that I had shoved in every little nook in my room and found some of the greatest ones of John, Christopher and myself. It all started with the pool party at James and Joe Kametz’s house. We were probably in first grade and in the picture was of course John, Christopher, Miles, Adam Darden, Jessica, Callie, etc.….all of the old gang from lower school. It was a great memory, but the thing I remember most about that day was when Christopher and John made James and Joe so angry that Mrs. Kametz threw them out of the pool party….not an unfamiliar occurrence.  

The second picture I came across was when Christopher had his bleached blonde hair and John still had his mole. It was our first homecoming dance, John was my date and Jessica Vinson was Christopher’s. We were all typical middle schoolers, I was ten feet taller than John and Christopher was so skinny that his belt bunched up his kaki pants. It was one of the funniest moments of my life just looking back at that time when we were all in what I call our “IT” stage….gosh it was awful.  

The last couple pictures that I found of Christopher and I were the ones that meant the most. When we were in high school, I would bring my camera to school to capture some of the memories at SA, but in capturing them, Christopher Ray seemed to be the common theme. He was never embarrassed to sit down and take a picture with me. If that was what I wanted, he would do it in a heart beat. As I have told people, Christopher and I were the friends that could try dating for a day, just to see if we had a connection, then once the next day came around we would look at each other and say, “please don’t tell anyone we did this” and still be as close, if not closer than we were before.

At Southampton Academy, I was the only girl from pre-k through 12 grade who stayed with those crazy boys. Maybe I was insane, but I loved them with all my heart. They have pretty much been what my life has evolved around for 15+ years. Yes, I would get sooo frustrated with them at times, but having Christopher and John as my friends made it all worth the ride. They are my closest friends who possess a huge place in my heart. And now even though Christopher isn’t here walking with us, he is in all of our hearts and I truly believe that.  

John and Christopher had a bond that goes way beyond brotherhood. Never in my life have seen two people spend every waking hour with each other and enjoy every minute. They were two peas in a pod. Growing up with these two, has been a part of my life I will cherish forever. There is not one memory I have of Christopher where John wasn’t right beside him…and that’s been a heck of a long time. I remember Santa clause trips, river trips, Edith’s house, pool parties at Windy Hill, ski trips…and I could go on forever. Whenever I participated in any activity with one, the other would be right there. They treasured each others companionship and worked great as a team. I only wish my children one day will have as close a bond with someone as John and Christopher had and will always have.

In the past year I had seen a side of Christopher which I had never seen before. He was finally happy with the life he was leading. He loved being in Southampton County and along with being close to his family, he was branching out to live in his home in Capron. Every time I came home, we would sit up in his garage and he would tell me about all the cool adventures he had been a part of with the Southampton County police department. I had never seen someone so devoted and passionate about their job. He was truly happy with his life and that made my heart so happy for him. Christopher deserved only the best.

Christopher, as people have stated in other stories, was the most genuine person I have ever known. He was always that friend who told me to “come on, who cares if your invited or not,” or “MELV, we are best friends, it doesn’t matter.” He would always be the first person I would call when I came home. Christopher would make any situation better. Even though he definitely has a mischievous side to his brain, his sweet side overtook.  

The last thing I will say is, I had a dream a couple nights ago that touched my heart like something I have never felt. In the dream it was Christopher, John, Daniel Vinson and I and we were at this festival. Well the next thing I know, Christopher was telling all of us that it was ok and he had to go. He also told us that he was perfectly happy and he would see us one day, but not to worry. The last thing I remember was Christopher giving John the biggest hug then he walked into the distance. I don’t know if this dream was Christopher sending me a message, but it’s kind of hard to believe it was just a random dream.  

I miss Christopher with all my heart as well as everyone, but we will see him again. I have no doubt in my mind.

By Megan Simpkins

I have spent countless hours sitting in front of my computer, just trying to think of where to start or even what to say, but nothing I write has seemed good enough or even worthy of Chris or how I feel about him… but in the back of my mind I can hear him saying “get the chuck on wit it”, so I guess the best way to start is to state the painfully obvious fact that I miss him so much.

Chris was my favorite person in the whole world. From the night I first met him, October 2, 2007, I was madly in love with him. The very next day he took me on our first date… to Wal-Mart. There he bought me a fishing pole (the “blue bomber”) then drove me to Parrott, VA where we spent the afternoon on his infamous John Boat not catching a darn thing. Nothing was ever awkward between us, it was like we had known each other for our entire lives; and ever since that most redneck first date I had ever experienced, we became inseparable… I have never spent so much time with one person in my entire life than in the short two years I knew Chris; and in our short years together, he understood me more than even my own family did... the connection was stronger than anything I have ever experienced.

We spent the majority of our time together hibernating in his room, neglecting John’s warning about getting bedsores… because being together was way more important than socializing with anyone else or even going to class (sorry parents). One day that summer, we spent 12 straight hours in his room watching LOST… it breaks my heart knowing that he wont ever get to know what the heck is actually going on in that stupid show.  But this past spring tops it off… when we spent a disgusting 18 continuous hours watching season after season of The Sopranos, after which I had to deal with him only making spaghetti for dinner and repeating Tony Sopranos famous words: “capish” and “madonn” for a whole week.

But besides wallowing our days away, the most important and special thing about me and Chris’s relationship was that we learned so much from each other. Chris taught me a whole new life outside of home. I learned how to fish, appreciate country music, experienced the small town life, had my first taste of delicious Brunswick Stew, became a fluent speaker of the “chuckin language,” went four wheeling through swamps, and to everyone’s surprise, I even went hunting. But Chris never let an opportunity go where he could make fun of me for being from northern Virginia… saying, “I get you half right then you go back home and get all nova on me”.  But as much as he would hate to admit it, he liked it. The first time he came to visit me, I took him on his first metro ride and he was completely astonished by all the people, cars and city life… it was absolutely adorable.  Although we came from different worlds, I guess that proves the saying “Opposites attract.”

Its hard to pick just one Christopher story to tell, since they are all the best, but guess ill share the most recent one. The last time I saw Chris was in August, when I visited him on my way down to Nags Head. I was so excited to check out his new house, but the first thing he had to show me was his bathroom. I thought going in there that it must be pretty fancy for him to be THAT excited to show me it, but it was not… he was just in love with his toilet because it was cushioned. He said, “I always told Anne I wanted a cushioned toilet seat and now I finally got one! Every king deserves a nice comfy padded seat for takin dumps.” It was the little things in life that made him the happiest… and that’s why I loved him so much.

Although I no longer get the daily phone call or texts about the stupid little things that happened during his day or about the awesome police call he had the night before, I know he is still around, protecting me like he always did. Literally not a minute goes by that I don’t think about him or sleep a night without dreaming about him and it is a continuous struggle to go through a whole day without shedding a tear for him… but he always said, “don’t cry lil Moonpie, your ugly when you cry”, so that makes it a little easier.  Everywhere I go and everything I do reminds me of him. And is presence is still all around me... literally... like:

-his flask, which still has some Henry McKenna left it in it…which is a complete surprise, since we all know he never let even a drop of alcohol go to waste

-a Sherriff Vernie Francis ballpoint pen with his bite marks all over the cap, showing signs of pure boredom in class

-and my favorite of all: his dresser, which makes all of my clothes inside smell like him…. But outside of material things, what’s most important is that he made Radford my home because to me, he was home. Towards the end of the summer I used to complain to him about how much school was going to suck without him and how lonely I was going to be, but he always promised to visit as much as he could… I can never thank him enough for making me feel comfortable in a place where I hardly knew anyone, 4 hours away from the only place I knew and was used to.

He was my better half and I wont ever be whole again because he had my left side (where the heart is)…but because of him, I am a better person and live my days now striving to be just as amazing and giving as he was.  We used to always joke on the girls that said or had stupid quotes posted up everywhere, but “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” has a completely new and truthful meaning to me now.  I would be a totally different person today if I had never met Christopher. Because of him, I now know the meaning of life, friendship, happiness and most importantly, what it is to love.

I will love you and miss you forever Christopher Darby Ray… (Peaches, Officer Williams, Trixie, Lloyd Muffet, Ol Raystopher, Slop Masta C) and forever’s a mighty long time.

-Megan Lee, your Moonpie, Lady B, Lil Bit

 

My Buddy Ray Boy - by Ben Lane

Chris Ray. All of us have fond memories of you. I got to share some of my most memorable moments on this earth with you. I don’t really know where to start dude. I think I’ll start with the one at Johnny B’s known as “Windy Hill Woodstock”. HAHA. God we got “wold” that evening. You told me that night when I graduated fire academy that you would throw me a rager at the farm but I never asked you to do so because nothing ever would have topped that party off. If it weren’t for you and your skills of getting a crowd all worked up, it may have possibly failed miserably. Everything about you was funny, regardless of what was going on. The day we got caught in the rain on the greater nottaway and sat under the bridge for 3 hours…yea. Anyone else would have been ready to go, but you and I sat right there and drank natty’s and pretended we were the homeless guys on MTV crates (Mack C The Pimp) and laughed hysterically. By the way, big mama white is still probably swimmin’ round. This day of monsoon like rains was when me and you discovered the power of “little Syd’s”. With every sip we were coming up with genius ideas on how to catch those sketchy gar. It definitely didn’t work, but we ain’t care. We were having a good time.

We had many a good time in the woods and in the swamps. The day we went squirrel bustin’ and I introduced you to nest shaking was very memorable. One orange stack cap, a double barrel .410, one coors light, and three squirrels. How dude? Beer in one hand, a gun in the other with only two shots and you strike three bushy tails. You definitely were the man that day.



Then on to a duck huntin’ story.(when 87 reads this one, he will laugh uncontrollably) We all were bored one evening sitting around trying to think of something to do. So john says “let’s call D Boone and see if he has any greenheads we can spank”. So I get ole Daniel Boone on the phone and asked him about a hole and about how many was there. In these exact words” yea man…gotta right decent hole on back in the woods. Got bout a thhoouuusssaannnddd mallards in it”. God you gave him so much hell until that sun went down and it definitely was about that many in there.27 down.

Enough with the older stories now I guess because I’m getting my keyboard wet. I want to share the story Chris and I put in the books the last day he was with us. So I’m going to tell it from beginning to end.

…Thursday night I sat on the phone with Ray for about 30 minutes listening to him tell me about his gar rig that was going to catch em for sure. I told him I’d meet him at the boat landing as soon as I got off. So I laid in bed that at work anxious to go fishing with my buddy the next day. After about 5 EMS calls and 3 fire alarms I finally got some sleep. I got off about 7:45 and rushed home to change clothes and get my fishing stuff. I stopped at DQ and got us a biscuit and drove down to the Cypress Bridge Boat Landing. I was walking down to the boat and there he was, standing in the back of that 12 foot jon boat holding two bottles of “Little Syd’s” grapefruit and gin trying to say something, but I couldn’t hear him over that ghetto blaster pumping out 106.9 the fox. We set out up river and stopped at the hole. With a good four rods hangin’ out of the boat we were sure to catch em. Then all of a sudden while I was trying to rig something up, you get to hollering. I knew you had something nice on line so I get the net. Low and behold, you pull up the nastiest looking black fish I’ve had ever seen. You said “jammin, don’t you put that damn blackfee in this boat” and I told you to shut the chuck up and lets land his ass. We definitely did. That fish beat the hell out of me in the boat but we fixed that. Hung his ugly self off the side with ken’s bungee strap. Then we took off up river and ran into some shallow waters but I had no worries because I knew I was with the “Captain”. We started wading, pulling the boat thru sometimes 2-4 inches of water and sometimes even dry land. We gave up on the gar and blackfish and started fishin’ for bass and teddy bleme’s. By the time we got to the narrow’s, I bet we had had caught fifty bass and just as many bream. By far the best day I’d ever had on the river in my life. We headed on up river draggin’ the boat along talking about what we were going to do with our lives in the years to come as we fished along. We talked of how we were going to be like two old men sitting around flowers store in the mornings and sitting on the porch in the evenings drinking cold beer, then going to bed extremely early, just to get up and do it again the next day. We talked about buying homes and I told him I won’t gonna live anywhere unless it had at least two bedrooms, that way he could stay. And then as we got back in the boat he hollered across that motor and the ghetto blaster and said to me, “jammin’, you can tell our grandkids that Chris Ray is the navigatinest motha trucka on the nottaway riva”. I will never forget that. We made it to Shands boat landing and with the help of Cameron, we got his truck from cypress bridge and loaded up the boat and headed back to Wyanoke Lane. I took the blackfee to Dail’s, got the fish weighed and measured(10.2 Lbs, 33”) and got the ciatation paperwork filled out and called him to tell him the good news…

The story I just told is a story most people would talk bout for days on end. To me, this is a chapter of my life. A chapter that I will cherish for the rest of my life and this chapter my friend will be read and told to everyone. I wanna sit around like we talked about and tell this story years from now. I want my children to know who Chris Ray was and when my god son Ashton is old enough I will start with him. We also spoke of when the day came that either of us got married that it would be the wildest reception ever. You’re damn right. But buddy, the woman I find to marry is gonna have to deal with the fact that when I’m standing at that altar getting ready to say those words, there is gonna be a empty space right in between Andrew and Daniel Boone, along with John and a few others. Because I know you’ll be there in spirit and I want you standing right there beside me.

Well here I am, just getting home from cutting the old loop we used to cut and my ears hurt from listenin to the fox at max volume. Harris rd, Vicksville to Unity, on around to Tucker swamp, past the dick tree on to Clayton, back around to Drake on back to the home stretch. I had a decent Old Forester drink for you this evening and will continue to cheers to you like old times. Me,You and a somewhat endless supply of ice cold Natty Patty’s, wouldn’t have it any other way brotha. Keep us all safe as you watch over us. I can go through life now having no fear because I know you’ll be there holding my hand leading me through whatever life throws my way. Being in the public service just as you were, please watch close over me when it gets to be “Go Time” because you know how I am when it comes down to it. I’ll be right up in the thick of things, hottest fires, smokiest buildings and the most ghetto EMS calls imaginable. LOL. Ray I love you with all of my heart just as you were my brother and I miss you so very much.

P.S.
I promised big Ken that I’d take Cameron and Kevin fishing. Hook us up with some sweet fish and look out for us on the waters and in the woods. I’ll take good care of the 12 ft jon and be sure to fill the back full of beer cans every time I go just as we did.